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You can close the blinds
Pull the curtains
Seal off every crack and crevice
Disallowing the Light
You can hunker down in this darkness
Impenetrable
Unperturbed
Insisting "There is no Sun!"
Asserting disbelief in its existence
"How can I," you cry, "believe in a Sun
Which burns
Which causes pain
Which dries up entire deserts
Which hides when warmth is needed most
Whose rising impels me to work
Whose setting allows such Night in my life
When I'm desperate for
and despairing of the Day?"
You can hold tightly
With the tenacious grip of a toddler
To your defiance of a Deity you don't understand
You can get colder and colder
Wrapped in the blanket of your disbelief
Of your denial
Eschewing any possible Good
Benighted by what you see only as bad
Or
You can risk removal
Of your limited lens
Let your finite perspective
Be peeled away
Accept your smallness in the scheme of Things
Your blindness to The Big Picture
Allow the pain through which you peer
Which has muddied your view
Exposure to Heaven's Orb
Which seems to have wounded you
Which is your only hope for healing
The Sun goes on shining
Whether we believe in it or not
Giving Life
To the most massive of planets
The tiniest of mustard seeds
Indifferent to none
Despite what you thought
His Eye is on the solar system
And the sparrow alike
Nothing goes unnoticed,
Escapes His gaze,
Eludes His Love...
In your most honest moments
The ones no one else sees
When the superfluous is swept away
And all that's left is your most primal knowing
You Do Believe in God
You just don't believe that He is Love
or if you do believe that He is Love
You don't believe He loves You
And the pain of such an errant belief
Is too much to bear
So you choose
Instead
The anesthetic of Unbelief
At war within yourself
This belief and unbelief colliding
In which state Peace is an impossibility
Let It Go
Risk the pain
Feel the fear
But allow also for the possibility of Love
Know simply that you do not know
That even, perhaps, you cannot know
Herein lies the key:
You Do Not Have To Know
Only Believe
What you Deep Down Believe
Let in the Light
And all that comes with it
The "Good"
The "Bad"
The Pain
The Healing
Open the blinds
Choose to see
The Sun is shining
Love Is waiting...
Believe
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"Come, and let us return to the LORD;
For He has torn, but He will heal us;
He has stricken, but He will bind us up...
His going forth is established as the dawn,
He will come to us like healing rain to the earth."
-Hosea 6:1-3
