Sunday, August 1, 2010


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"Who is this coming up from the wilderness leaning on her Beloved?"
-Song 8:5
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(written in response to a friend who is finding her way...)

...A feeling of "suspended animation"...yes, I can relate to this feeling exactly...a feeling of Chrysalis...hoping there are wings on the other side of the far there has just been more waiting...

...feels like a string of false finishes sometimes...just when I arrive at what I think is the end of the course, there are still "miles to go before I sleep".... my need patience? endurance? trust in God's timing?

Whichever, it is definitely a stretch right soul is being stretched beyond what I thought I could bear....but here I still am, bearing it...not broken......

Hard to walk/wait without a roadmap...there is the fear sometimes that I'm missing the boat entirely.....

It is a struggle right that I hope means growth, one that I hope is not futile that I hope leads to a crack in this cocoon, one that will let in some that will result in flight....

In the analogy, "Hinds' Feet on High Places", the main character, Much-Afraid, whom the Good Shepherd has promised to take to the High Places, is speaking with the Shepherd....In one defining moment, near the end of the journey, near the top of the mountain, in a chapter called "In the Mist", He asks her with utmost solemnity,

"Do you love me enough to be able to trust me completely, Much Afraid?"

Much Afraid answers, "You know that I do love you, Shepherd, as much as my cold little heart is capable..."

The Shepherd replys, "Would you be willing to trust me, even if everything in the wide world seemed to say that I was deceiving you - indeed that I had deceived you all along?"

Much Afraid answers hastily, "Why, yes, I'm sure I would, because one thing I know to be true, it is impossible that you should tell a lie..."

The Shepherd looks deeply, compassionately into her eyes, and very quietly asks, "Much Afraid, supposing that I really did deceive you? What then?"

Much Afraid looks into His eyes, then bursts into deep sobbing tears and then, after a time, she decides, and, looking straight into His face says...."My LORD - if you can deceive me, you may. It can make no difference. I must love you as long as I continue to exist. I cannot live without loving you."

At this point the Good Shepherd laid His hands on her head, then with a touch more tender and gentle than anything she had ever felt before, repeated as though to himself, "If I can, I may deceive her." Then, without another word he turned and went away.

...In the end, Much-Afraid makes it to the High Places intended for her all along.....But the path takes her first through, not a mid-life-crisis, but a crisis-of-faith...A place of decision...

I believe that is where we are at...I believe that it is necessary, critically necessary, that we go through this, though we do not understand just now. But it is a crucial piece of the journey. A conduit to the bursting cocoon.

When the disciples were on the boat, in the middle of the raging storm, completely without their bearings, Jesus comes on the scene. They were in a "mid-ocean-crisis"...

Though Jesus momentarily permitted it, His ultimate intent was not that they should leave the boat and walk on the water, but that they should invite Him into the boat with them, so that He could take them to the other side, out of the storm, safe to shore, where a new part of their lives would begin, with greater trust in the One who navigated them through.

See you on shore, my friends, perhaps just a short time from now...

your friend and traveling companion,

"Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him."
-Job 13:15

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  1. What amazing timing.....happening upon this just now. Oh, I so needed this. Isn't that just the question.....always.....can I trust Him?

    My mind shudders at the question and begins to analyze and stammer ridiculous notions but my heart sings out "yes.........He can be trusted."
    My mind rolls it's eyes and tries to qualify what my heart just sang. Such a ruckus going on between the two!

    Oh Lord, enable us to let go and trust you instead of leaning on our own understanding.

    Thanks for this ladle of life you just helped pour into my thirsty soul.

  2. It's been many years since I have read that book. It may be time to do so again. "Lord, to whom else can we go ... You have the words of Eternal Life."
    Peace to your friend.

    Thanks for your visit.

  3. I too think I will revisit this book....I used to try to read it once a year but I haven't done that in awhile.....I think God through you is prompting me to gain new isights from the story.....

    I can always count on you to take me places and give me thoughts to ponder that are so on target in my life.......

    I am so blessed that God has put you in my path....I call you friend...precious one.....

  4. I heard a teacher the other night, Jennifer, who articulated what you've said here with these words...she said, "we KNOW in our KNOWER" and sorta pointed to her gut, "but our problem is then we ask our brain what it thinks about what we KNOW."...

    It was something like that.....resonated with me at the time, as your words do now....

    Oh what a timely gift you are, my friend...

  5. Dearest Nancy...So wonderful to meet a kindred spirit such as you at this point in the journey...God knew I needed the companionship and added insight at just this point...

    I have been through some painful "letting go's" of late; your arrival on the scene, your grace, your lovely insights, are nothing less than one of His good and perfect gifts just now...

    My cup overflows......
    Your friend,

  6. Hi S.E....

    I may re-read it the mo I'm reading "The Pilgrim's Progress", similarly analogous of this journey...I'll take all the perspective I can get these days...Of course nothing beats the GPS preloaded into our system...God's Positioning System...That essential inner compass, that will one day lead us all the way Home.....

    Peace to you too, friend...

  7. Hindsfeet, your words area amazing. Always a soothing balm for the spirit...

  8. Oh Courtney, God certainly knows what He's doing when He intertwines the paths of His kids...Sure am glad to be "traveling" with you : )

  9. Thank you very much for this message, Hindsfeet. While reading your comment in my blog, I couldn't stop but cry. You just nailed it. I cannot say I am ok now because I still am in suspended animation...but your words consoled me a lot...more than you can imagine.

  10. Hi Searching Soul....

    Right there with you, traveling with you....I think perhaps our "animation" is not as "suspended" as it seems......

    The shore is ocming into sight, my dear...hang on....just hang on....

    "They who sow in tears will reap in laughter"

  11. Oh I must pull out this book again too. We can read the same book further along on our journey and we see and understand with new eyes and hearts. I am hearing essentially the same thing in varying ways. Will I trust the one who loves me most with it all??? Will I hand over my "Isaacs"? Will I be willing to die to all that keeps me from following fully?? I want to be able to say with all of my heart Yes!!!

    I am so happy to hear you are visual journaling. Can't wait to see.

    Hugs dear one!!

  12. I love the mirror that you are to me, Mary, reflecting the words of my last few posts back to me...helps me pull back a bit, see the bigger picture......

    What a gift...

  13. I have to say that your friend is very blessed to have you. Very blessed.

  14. what a beautiful post. your words hit a place I didn't know...i can't put it into words! just thank you for sharing. and thank you for your comment. i'm glad that my butterfly spoke to you too.

  15. Did you change the photo on this one? I like the cocoon symbolism!