100

"A woman came to Jesus with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table...Jesus said...'She has done a beautiful thing to me.' "

-Matthew 26:7-10

~ ~ ~

 

One hundred holy heartbeats mutually shared

One hundred heartcrys between souls dually bared

One hundred pieces of myself passed out as broken bread

One hundred fragments multiplied for His Beloved to be fed

 

One hundred footprints follow, though obscured in desert sand

The burden of this journey borne as we've traveled holding hands

So little ground behind us, So much further yet to climb

the moments shared so fleeting, the double-edged sword of time

 

One hundred psalms, One hundred prayers

poured into this vessel for this purpose prepared

This alabaster jar of my heart's hard-earned treasure:

The perfume of pain, of loss, of surrender

Emptied out here, poured out to my Lord

Transformed into beauty

redeemed

and restored

 

~ ~ ~

 

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit,
A broken and a contrite heart-
These, O God, You will not despise."
-Psalm 51:17


(written to mark my 100th post)

Trust

"But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord; I say 'You are my God.'

My times are in Your hand"

-Psalm 31:14,15

~+~

The cliche "pregnant pause"

"bated breath"

and "deafening silence"

that presently pervade my path

are Cliche because these things are common to man

Cliche because they are the go-to tools of the Potter

the primary privations used to teach His timing

used to teach us Trust

And so I wait

And so I watch

And so I brace myself against voices

which flatter me into false starts
and premature emergence
which promise a counterfeit exodus

and countermand Christ's call to "Wait"

I endure the strain of stillness

And quiet myself to hear...

I know, in the end, "I shall see God"

~+~

* Job 19:23-26 *

Letting Go.....

"Whoever finds his [lower] life will lose it [the higher life],

and whoever loses his [lower] life on My account will find it [the higher life]."

-Matthew 10:39 (Amplified Version)

~ ~ ~

So many "Letting-go"s on this pilgrims' path...

Letting go of anything that diverts His flow through me

Letting go of, not just sin, but of the good that is not His best

Letting go of "the lower life" that I cling so tightly to at times

Letting go, Living in a state of surrender, Clinging only to Christ as the ever-changing world ebbs and flows around me.   Loosening my grip on everything that would shake me from that still centered place.

I sometimes find myself resisting this release, prefering the synthesized sense of security that my pacifiers of choice afford me, but the letting go that God calls us to does not leave us empty handed, rather, it leaves us open handed to take hold of His "higher life", His many blessings, the very hand of God.

~ ~ ~

Vigil

~ ~ ~

She watched the smoke signals turn from rosy gold to lavender grey as the day dipped into dusk...Harbingers sent from a heart held very dear...a heart she knew in spirit, like the ethereal wisps hovering overhead....they looked as though, at any moment, they might rain down on this desert of hers...


She gazed at these precious messengers moving slowly across the sky until they blended into shadow, until their whisper was enveloped into evening...Seven geese sailed into their wake and diminished in the distance...


The apparitions disolved into darkness and soft milky light soaked into her sky from somewhere very faraway...Resting from her vigil, she leaned her head back and closed her eyes....She didn't have to see the moon to let its light settle into her soul.....it was there, out there somewhere, that was all that mattered......

~ ~ ~

Compass...

"Let the peace of God rule in your hearts"

-Colossians 3:15

~+~+~+~

We've all been there: we turn a corner, or take a step to the right or to the left, and suddenly, no peace.  Our internal umpire tugs on the reins in an attempt to reel us in.  At that point we have a choice (ah the double-edged sword of "choice"):

We can hit the pause button long enough to let God speak into the situation and correct our course,

or,

We can press through the un-ease and drown out the dinging alarm with a myriad of distractions, rationalizing away this harbinger of the heart entirely. 

My mom use to say, "If you feel like you're pushing string, Stop.".  When something we're doing feels forced, when we feel like we're suddenly slogging through mud or trying to run under water, it's time to stop, check our compass, and turn until the needle is pointing toward Home again.

I like how the Amplified version of the bible puts it:

"Let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state]"

-Colossians 3:15

There are times when there is joy in the journey, there are times when there is pain on our path, there are times when we walk through the darkness of the shadow of death, there are times when our way is like the light of dawn.  Wherever the road leads, let the litmus test be Peace.

~*

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

-Isaiah 30:21

Clay

"But now, O LORD, You are our Father; we are the clay, and You our potter; and all we are the work of Your hand."

-Isaiah 64:8

Our lives are not half-hazzard, they are not the random result of fickle chance or human choice - these merely second causes - but rather, they are the design of Deity, the Master Artist's magnum opus, an intimation of Immanuel Himself.

There is much work that goes into re-making us into His image, but each day we spend on this Potter's wheel of a planet brings us closer to that end.

The path to "Finished" from "Authored" can be arduous indeed, at times painful, at times downright disorienting and riddled with disillusionment. So much surrender is required, so little leeway is allowed.  But as we trust ourselves more fully into our loving Father's hands, something sublime and truly useful is formed: a vessel into which He can pour Himself, out of which He can quench the thirst of thousands...

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith"

-Hebrews 12:2

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Rain

"The wilderness and the wasteland shall be glad...the desert shall rejoice and blossom as the rose"

-Isaiah 35:1

~ ~ ~

Let it trickle down

till it covers this dust

till it runs through my hair

down my neck

over my shoulders...

Let it soak through my pores

and pool up inside me

till I'm flooded and full and overflowing...

For all who are thirsty

Make me more than mere mirage

Let them come and drink deeply of You

Living Water flowing freely

Let nothing occlude

Wet this wasteland with mercy

Let this dry desert bloom...

~ ~ ~

E.A.A "Hindsfeet" 7/11/10

From Regret to Redemption....

"Remember my affliction and bitterness...My soul still remembers and sinks within me."

-Lamentations 3:19-20

How often have I immersed myself in immobilizing ruminations of time gone by, ruefully remembering mistakes made, opportunities lost, roads not traveled...My strength is slowly sapped, parched in the desert of this paralyzing pastime.

My attempt to re-construct the flimsy framework of forgotten sins,  to piece together the pick-up sticks of my past proves to be an excercise in futility, for unless the Lord builds the house I labor in vain.  God does not dwell on antiquity, He does not put His shoulder to the wheel of our self-reproach, He is not building monuments to our mis-steps and neither should we.

God does not take part in preserving our past, He is not interested in the relics of our wrong-doing.  He died an agonizing death to forever form a division between then and now, to forge the way from failure to forgiveness, to secure safe passage from sin to salvation, and to rebuild the road from regret to redemption.

"This I recall to mind, therefore I have hope: Through the LORD's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not.  They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness."

-Lamentations 3:21-23

~ ~ ~ ~ ~